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See the insult Akpos gave his teacher.

Posts 11 to 20 of 25

11

Onoriode Wilfred wrote:

I was in church one day when pastor said: "It's time to say hello to your neighbours, shake hands and lets get to know each other." I said hello to the person sitting to my left and to the one sitting to my right.. We introduced our selves and both said they were Egyptians. Preaching time came and pastor decided to preach from Exodus 14:13.. Telling us about how God saved
the Israelites from Egyptians. My people, remember that there were Egyptians on
my left and right. I was thinking to myself
"How do these two Egyptians feel knowing that their people are the bad guys in this Bible verse" Well, I just sit-down my own je-je-je. The next thing oo!!, pastor shouted: "The Egyptians made the people of God to
suffer for years!!!, I said they made them
suffer!!!, Turn to your left and to your right!!! And
tell your neighbour!!!, The Egyptians you see today!!!, You shall see no more!!!" My friend, if you were in my position will you say after the pastor?

Tight situation
I no go talk oh

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12

Wish I was funny
*sobs*

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13

Nelcool9 wrote:

Wish I was funny
*sobs*

Don't worry
You might not be funny, but you have something that makes you special.
Am expecting nice posts from you though.

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14

Three business associates, an Igbo man, a
Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat
lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere.
While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in
through the window. It flew across the table
to where the Igbo man was but he just
waved his hands to chase it away.
The fly then went to where the Yoruba man
was, he also chased it away.
Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese
man was and was flying close to his ears. The
Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime
and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and
swallowed it.
The other men saw this but just kept on
eating.
About Five minutes later, another fly came in
and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased
it away again.
It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time
he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for
sometime and then grabbed it. He then
turned to the Chinese man and asked "how
much you go buy am?"

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15

Hahahahaha!! I just can't stop laughing. This
is the awkward Truth About some husbands.
A group of men gathered at a church
conference on how to live in a loving
relationship with their wives. The men were
asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All
the men raised their hands. Then they were
asked, "When was the last time you told your
wife you love her ?" Some men answered
today, some yesterday, majority didn’t
remember. The men were then told to take
their cell phones and send the following text
to their respective wives: I love you,
sweetheart...
Then the men were told to exchange their
phones so one can read the other wife's reply
to the love message.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Have you impregnated someone again
2. That was then, not now
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you
this time.
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming?
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is
actually for, you will die today!
9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking.
10. Abeg na who be this?

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16

My eyes are wet with tears...... Out of
laughter...haha hhahhaha read on....
If you are tired of those guys who keep on
inboxing U stupid questions,here are some
few tips on hw 2 answer them off:
Question:"hey beautiful wht r u busy with"
Answer: "looking for my engagement ring,
lost it"
Q:"Hey gal can we meet?"
A:"Nope i'm 8 months pregnant, I can't meet
anyone at this stage"
Q:"Can I knw more about u?" A:"Sure I LOVE
MONEY,please send me N5,000 MTN card"
Q:"do u hv a BF"?
A:"yes we hv 2 kids & he is a soldier"

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17

One day at the end of class, a
teacher Mr.
Ofoka asked the whole class to go
home and
think of a story and then conclude
the moral of
that story.
The following day Mr. Ofoka came
into the class
and asked for the first volunteer
to tell their story.
little Suzy raises her hand and was
asked to go
ahead. "My dad owns a farm and
every Sunday we load
the chicken eggs on the truck and
drive into town
to sell them at the market. Well,
one Sunday we
hit a big bump and all the eggs
flew out of the
basket and onto the road."
Then Mr. Afoka asked for the
moral lesson of the
story. Suzy replied, "Don't keep all
your eggs in one
basket."
Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad
owns a farm too and every
weekend we take the chicken
eggs and put them
in the incubator. Last weekend
only 8 of the 12
eggs hatched."
Mr. Afoka also asked for the moral
lesson of the
story. Lucy replied "Don't count
your eggs before
they're hatched."
The last person was little johnny.
Johnny started like this: "My uncle
Tedra
fought in the Vietnam war; his
plane was shot down over enemy
territory. He
jumped out before it crashed with
only a case of
beer, a machine gun and a
machete. On the way
down he drank the case of beer.
Unfortunately,
he landed right in the middle of
100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot
70 with
his machine gun, but ran
out of bullets, so he pulled out his
machete and
killed 20 more. The blade of his
machete broke,
so he killed the last ten with his
bare hands".
Mr. Afoka looked at johnny in
shock and asked if
there is possibly any moral lesson
to his story.
Johnny replied, "Don't Bleep with
uncle Tedra when he's
been drinking!"

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18

I wanted to use my ATM
card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. A frustrated
me called my bank help line.
Me: (angrily) So what's
wrong with my ATM card.
Call girl : Sir, I have checked your
account, everything
is alright here and You should be
able to use your
card, are you sure your card is
not damaged or broken?
Me: Are you insane? What are
you insinuating? No
one takes good care of their ATM
card like I do.
Call girl: Okay Sir, are you also
sure the surface isn't
wet or stained with dirt?
Me: You dey mad? ATM card
wey I dey pet like egg. As a matter of fact, I even laminated it last week when I laminated my Identity card.

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19

4 men – a Mark, Bismark, George and Akpors
were being interviewed for a top job.
The President decided to carry a test, with
each candidate being asked the same
question and the best answer would get
them the job.
The next morning, first up was Mark.
“Here’s your question,” said the President
“What’s the fastest thing in the world?”
Without hesitation, he replied “A thought,
because it takes no time at all.” “Very good
answer,” said the President.
Next up was the George, “What’s the
fastest thing in the world?” asked the
president. “A blink,” replied George “cos
you don’t think about a blink. It’s a reflex.”
“Good answer,” replied the president.
Next was Bismark, “What’s the fastest
thing in the world?” asked the president.
Bismark thought for a moment, “Electricity,
because you can flip a switch and 20 miles
away a light will go on immediately.”
“That’s a great answer,” replied the president.
Finally, it was Akpors' turn. “What's the
fastest thing in the world?” asked the
president. Scratching his head Akpors
replied: “Running Stomach, because last
night after eating, I was lying on my bed
when I got these stomach pains and before I
could think, blink or turn on the light, IT
DROPPED.
Be the judge who would u employ??

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20

A man was trying to show his 15 year old son
the danger in taking alcohol so he brought
earthworm and alcohol.
He poured the alcohol on the earth worm.
After a little while the worm dissolved and he
asked the child, "what lesson can you
learn from this?"
The boy replied, "when we take alcohol, we
won't have worms."

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